Then I started this weirdly specific rule: I only ask about their 3rd photo. It sounds dumb but it’s been a total game changer for my reply rate. My inbox actually has life in it now. Usually the first photo is just a polished selfie, but by the third one, people tend to show a bit more of their actual life—like a dog, a weird hobby, or a vacation spot that isn't just a generic beach. It gives you an actual "hook" to talk about that isn't just "you're pretty."
I’ve been using this approach mostly because I’m looking for something more stable lately. I’ve realized I’m way more into women who have some life experience under their belt. There’s something so much more relaxing about talking to someone who isn't playing games or waiting three days to text back just to seem "cool." I was actually looking through some profiles of older brides recently and used the 3rd photo trick on a woman who had a picture of this crazy-looking sourdough bread she made. We ended up geeking out over baking and travel for like two hours. It’s just... easier.
I think people underestimate how much a little effort matters, especially when you're looking for a real connection. When I check out older brides, I see women who aren't looking for a pen pal; they want someone who actually notices who they are. Asking about that 3rd photo proves you aren't just mass-messaging 50 people while sitting on the couch watching Netflix.
If you're tired of the "hey" "hi" "whats up" loop, just try it. It makes the convo feel natural right from the jump. Honestly, dating is hard enough as it is, so if a tiny tweak like that gets me a real conversation with someone beautiful and mature, I'm all for it. It beats staring at a "read" receipt for three days straight lol. Just be yourself and actually look at the profile!
